Let's Just Agree to Stop Naming Things After Satan

Hello from Idaho, or perhaps I should say Wyoming? I need to catch you all up on last night before I can move on to today's adventures. I am most definitely in Idaho, except Snapchat doesn't know that apparently. I picked up the geotag for Jackson Hole, Wyoming, which to be fair, is where I'm headed tomorrow and only a short hop across the border, but most definitely in another state.

Last night was also the crazy Supermoon that has taken over every social media outlet know to social media. I couldn't get any pictures of that (my camera is nice, but not that nice!) but I did get a picture of this great Idaho sunset before "the real show" began. Also, shout out to my friends and family who were all looking at the eclipse at the same time as me -- it means we were looking at the exact same thing at the same time and that we were all together in a way.

Pretty.

Now, on to today -- which started with disappointment. I had the brilliant idea that I would go to yoga this morning... except when I got to yoga, I was the only one there. No explanation, no yoga, no nothing. So I decided to walk around town.

I checked out the Geotourism Center, which was free! I learned that foxes aren't -- as they are portrayed on the internet -- just derping around when they dive face-first into the snow. They're actually hunting -- they can dive through three feet of snow just to catch a rat, but it only works if they're facing north. While I was at the Geotourism Center, I saw they had a stack of free postcards. Now, I love free stuff -- it's basically the reason I walked around the Geotourism Center -- and I love postcards but I was going to pass this one up until I realized that this was a postcard for the National Outdoor Leadership School in Lander, WY. Do I remember ever hearing about NOLS? No, I do not but I was in Lander two weeks ago, so it's pretty crazy that I would just happen to find a postcard that says Lander on it in Driggs, ID. I took the postcard. 

After walking around town, I went to go hiking. I'd been warned that it was bear season. Not as in the season when people can hunt bears but the season when bears hunt people. I guess this distracted me while I was driving because I. drove. up. the. wrong. mountain.

The view from the wrong mountain.

I get lost an awful lot. Glad to see I'm sticking with tradition. My host gave me a hand drawn map of how to get to her favorite trails (she suggested the one mile trail for me... more on that later) and I guess I didn't follow it properly because I quickly realized that I was not getting where I needed to get. I turned around and managed to find my way -- via four miles on a bumpy dirt road (that wasn't included on the map).

So, back to the bears. I had been told that I needed to buy bear spray. Later I was told that I didn't need to buy bear spray. The one thing that the townspeople (yes, they shall be known as townspeople because that is what you call people who offer you friendly advice in a town with only one stoplight) did agree on was that I should stick to one of the better traveled paths to avoid death by bear or moose or mountain lion but especially bear. This is how I ended up taking another trail and accidentally hiking seven more miles than I originally intended. Yes, I went on an eight mile hike.

Casual walk back.

I decided I would try Devil's Stairs. I don't know why I ever thought this was a good idea. We need to stop naming things after Satan! Like oh hey, nature AND HADES! You can say that I should have guessed this hike wasn't my best bet based on the name but there is also Devil's Food Cake and cake is the opposite of evil. Also, don't you think the Devil's Stairs should go down? I mean, Hell is supposedly beneath our feet but I can tell you that I was NOT walking in a southern direction! Not even close. The trail was supposedly 4.3 miles long and even with my saintly internal soundtrack of Climb Every Mountain on repeat, I turned around at 4 miles because when the last .3 miles are at a 90 degree angle, I value my sanity and my calves enough to turn around. So I guess that the devil got me, but I'd rather have the devil get me than a bear.

At the end of a long, yet relaxing day, I have decided that I am clearly Katniss Everdeen -- not only because I periodically do the Mockingjay whistle on hikes just in case -- but because in the books, the Capitol is in the Rocky Mountains and I'm currently in the Rocky Mountains, ergo SAT logic has taught us that I must be in the Capitol. You may call me Thomson Jaffe: The Girl In Sweatpants.

Peace and love, Idaho potatoes.