Oh Yes. Pink Elephants.

Did I start a post last night that I never finished? Yes. Did I complete that post and post it today as if I’d written it all yesterday? Yes.

I know "Oh yes, pink elephants" is something that I picked up from my friends, who all picked it up from a song, but I still haven't heard that song after casually using that phrase for years. But, I think I have finally found the proper use for that phrase and if you keep reading, you shall soon know why.

It was a casual 851.3 miles from Chicago to Bismarck and every inch of it was about as suckish as it seems. That is just a longgggg time to be in a car. I tried doing car yoga, which helped a little bit but seriously, this is a lot of driving (it's longer than our trip to Alabama by a few hundred miles but we've got to make it in the same amount of time).

We finished Go Set a Watchman. It was absolute trash. I hate publishers. There was a reason that the book was never published and that is because no one wants to see a racist Atticus Finch in a half-baked novel that's really a rough draft for a beloved American classic that shall continue to shine despite the existence of this blemish. We're listening to Harry Potter now.

Oh yes, pink elephants.

Now onto the pink elephant. We stopped in DeForest, WI to see Pinkie, the pink elephant. Let me explain this is terms you can understand. Pinkie is a pink elephant. Pinkie is everything I love in this world. Pinkie is my god.

After Pinkie came Minnesota and there was lots of it. Minnesota is far bigger than I thought it was. It took ages to get through it. One of my best friends from high school is from Minnesota and likes to bring it up whenever he can (he’s now lived in Massachusetts longer than he ever lived in Minnesota, but oh well). It was wide and somewhat flat and I eventually traded it for wider and flatter when I entered North Dakota.

I’ve only ever spent two hours in North Dakota – this spring, Mandy and I drove there to go to Walmart. Not joking. The novelty of driving to another state to for a shopping trip distracted me from how dull it actually was. Like I said, wide and flat. Pretty, but wide and flat. I took some photos from the car to entertain myself that shall serve now serve as proof for my previous comments…

Wide and flat...

After something insane like 14 hours in the truck, we made it to Bismarck. I have seen exactly one block of Bismarck – the Sleep Inn and the Exxon station down the road. I spent more time exploring Walmart in April than I did doing anything in ND today. We ordered pizza and slept. The end of Day Three.