It's Hard to Throw Shade With Broken Sunglasses

Contrary to popular belief, the greatest tragedy of last night was not the death of my dignity/digestive tract but actually the moment where I broke my sunglasses! This came after The Lava Shot and was the most devastating blow of the evening because anyone who knows me knows that I ALWAYS wear my shades. I always have a pair of sunglasses. Always. Day or night, rain or shine, summer or winter -- it doesn't matter because I always have a pair of UV blockers with me. I proudly have sunglasses tan lines!

I was closer to death when the arm of my sunglasses broke off than when I swallowed a beverage that had roughly the same heat signature of the sun.

But l was also still a little tipsy when this happened, so I went to sleep.

Today, I was able to postpone the inevitable doom and gloom of a life sans shades with waffles for breakfast. Our last meal in Leon was back at the breakfast place and I love waffles! What isn't to love when they are, quite literally, groovy pancakes?! Whitney got fruit and hash browns because she has never really been a big breakfast eater (or maybe because she's a huge disappointment and hates happiness. I'm not really sure there's a difference).

Soon after, I was wearing my broken sunglasses in a comically lopsided fashion as we got on the shuttle to Granada, the next stop of our journey. I was hanging on for as long as I could!
What wasn't hanging on to the back of the truck was someone's backpack because it went flying off 20 minutes into the trip. Thankfully our backpack was not the one that the driver had to go hunting for and thankfully the backpack did get back onto the truck but it was a pretty eventful four minutes.

I wanted to take advantage of the drive to write about The Lava Shot Challenge but Whitney remembered that she had a game on the Kindle and took advantage of the fact that this device is technically hers (not that she has ever read a single book on it). She played a game called Hungry Shark and took way too much pleasure in eating people... like giggling like maniac and egging the shark on... I share a room with her...

Our hostel in Granada is really nice (even though it doesn't have AC). They offer tours, have a pool, lots of places to hang out and computers complete with Spanish keyboards (which led to some pretty ridiculous problems when I tried to use one when I was writing an email... where is that @ sign?!). We got lunch at the Nicaraguan equivalent of KFC because we were really hungry and needed to get ourselves sorted out (Whitney said that it was better than KFC but I didn't say anything because I know I shouldn't talk with my mouth full).

I took a quick swim while we came up with a game plan and then we were off. We would walk to La Merced and climb the bell tower there to make up for not getting to go to the top of the bell tower in Leon. BUT the church was closed. I guess God doesn't like working at 2pm on a Tuesday because he'd closed shop. So we wandered. We ended up at another church which was big and yellow and apparently the Cathedral of Granada. I guess it's important because it's a part of their geotag on Snapchat. We kept on walking because what else do you do when it's 95 degrees and your sweat mustache is growing a stache of its own?! The heat is what led us to gelato in a well-traveled area and being in a well-traveled area is what brought the sunglasses guy to us.

Do I like the replacement shades I bought? No, Whitney will be taking them from me once I can find *proper* replacements but are they better than the crooked, sliding off travesty I had on my face thirty seconds before he showed up? Absolutely.

Feeling refreshed from a combination of gelato and new eyewear, we went looking for the chocolate shop. Did you hear that? Granada has their own chocolate factory where you can make chocolate and eat chocolate! I don't care that I just ate frozen sugar dairy stuff, chocolate is bae. So imagine my disappointment when we find out that this Chocolate Museum is an exact replica of the ChocoMuseo that we went to in Antigua!!! I recognized the logo from a block away. We still went in but it was a sad moment for my chocolate loving self.

At this point, Whitney was still shy of her 10,000 step goal and my sweat mustache hadn't fully grown into a sweat beard, so I suggested we walk past La Merced again to see if The Big Man was in. He sure was and we had the pleasure of climbing some tiny spiral stairs that I hadn't encountered the likes of since Europe in 2014 (that's one of the major differences between Central America and Europe; over there, you climb stairs while here you climb mountains but they're equally brutal). The view was stunning -- Granada from all angles! We noticed some other churches that seemed close that we wanted to walk to but things are not as close as they appear from up above so by the time we got there, I had transformed from a sweaty bearded lady to an actual puddle of sweat so we returned to the hostel.

We lounged and then went out for dinner, which was good, but then I got dessert and that was even better -- a molten chocolate lava cake just to prove that not everything with lava in the name makes you want to cut your tongue out of your mouth!