Airplanes

I don't think a lot of people know this about me, but airplanes are definitely make my list of top five fears. Airplanes and airports are absolute the worst -- they are where miserable people go to feel joy. I despise them.

I know that you are more likely to die in a car accident or from choking on an ice cream cone than you are to die in a plane accident, but that doesn't change anything.

First off, airports are crowded and loud -- two other things I do not like. People are always freaking out about something and it stresses me out. I'm also convinced that no matter how early I get to the airport, I will miss my plane. I could have gone to the airport today and I still would have thought I was going to miss the plane. Airport security freaks me out -- I feel like I could go through entirely naked and I would still set off the alarm. I always set off the alarm. I can also never get my shoes back on once I've made it through the line.

Next, take off/landing. Have you ever thought about how weird that is? Like you speed up and you can't see where you're going and then you aren't on the ground anymore! And then you slam into the ground in a giant tin can and you still can't see where you're going and you're just going until you aren't anymore. I'm not a fan at all.

In between taking off and landing, you are in the air. I like to stay on the ground. On Saturday, my friend gave me a big hug and lifted me off the ground and that was a lot for me. I'm sitting in a chair -- thousands of feet above where a chair should be -- and I'm going several hundred miles an hour, but it feels like I'm just sitting in a chair. How is that possible?!

If all of that isn't enough, I'm 100% convinced that if I do not walk around the plane every 15 minutes, I will get blood clots and die. One reason that upsets me is because blood clots would be a really boring way to die but another is that blood clots mean the danger of planes follows me even once I'm on the ground.

With all of this being said, planes are clearly a necessary evil and I will be getting on one and taking off tomorrow night at 9:45 pm. We are flying Swiss Air to Geneva then Zurich then Rome and after we go through customs in Italy, we need to go back through airport security and get on another plane, because we are heading to Paris.

Also, we are taking a limo to the airport tomorrow and I think that is cool.