Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Ukraine

This is a bit of a false alarm, because I'm not traveling at the moment...

My dad is leaving on a business trip for Ukraine this evening and I am green with envy. Not a pleasant shade of green either, we're talking Margaret Hamilton's Wicked Witch of the West green. Even though my dad will be spending about as much time on the plane as he will on the ground in Kiev, I still have a lot to be jealous of.

It would really stink if my dad was just going to Europe, but the fact that he is going to Ukraine kills me! Why is this a big deal, you may ask? I'm not Ukranian, I don't know anyone who is and I don't think I know anyone who has gone to Ukraine (other than my father when he arrives tomorrow evening). It is a big deal because one of my alter-egos is Ukranian. Her name is Katya and she is a Ukranian, rapping spy who is obsessed with yaks. My sister also has a Ukranian alter-ego named Polina and we are both very attached to these characters we've created. (I will add here that we have both been crushed by the revelation that there are no yak in the Ukraine. I'm not sure why we thought there were, but we did, and this news has been earth shattering). So, Chuck is going to "The Motherland" without me and I'm very upset about this. (In full disclosure, our real motherland is actually a Fatherland, because we're German, BUT Chuck will also be going to the Fatherland, because he has a layover in Munich).

I'm also super jealous because my dad's trip to Ukraine means that I will be the last person in my family to travel to Europe! My mom went in high school, my sister went last summer and my dad is going now. I have wanted to go to Europe (specifically France and even more specifically Paris) since I was seven and even though I have had amazing trips to Australia and South Africa (which are arguably more exotic and exciting locations), Europe is still my dream! I was actually supposed to go to Paris for my 16th birthday, but it's been almost six years now and I still haven't gone. Even Pink and Goldie (the stuffed bears my dad has taken with him on business trips since I was little) will have gone to Europe before me. You can see why I'm upset by this.

So, the moral of the story is, Dad, buy me something nice!